Archive for the ‘MyLife’ Category

Never afraid of dreaming

Dreaming, build dreams, survive to fulfill the dreams… such a very lovely words in my mind since I could remember. I think I was born in this world because purposes, a purpose at least. Then, I’ve been thinking hard: what is the purpose of my existence?

No body could give me proper answer, then I decided to free my soul and mind to develop dreams – as far as it could take. One day, I looked into the sky and I talked to the stars and start develop my dreams. Big dreams (based on my definition).

When I was a child, I argued and convinced people around me to support me to achieve my dream (aspiration); fortunately they gave their full supports. But now, when I become an adult, when I have to live alone; there was moment when I think I could bring other people fulfilling my dream. Unfortunately they can’t make it. They just can not make it. I was confused and re-think about my dream, whether it was out of sense or not.

Then, it all good experiences for me. I know that every human being has their own dream and I cannot just ASK them to join me; I need to share the common benefit at least. In fact, all those experiences brought bad impact to me for a while, I was afraid building dreams (again).

I’ve thinking a lot, fortunately I love to think (a lot). I found something in my night dream… I found something in my meditation… I found something when I talked to the wind… they told me to “NOT AFRAID OF DREAMING”. Finally, right now, I’m gonna keep writing my dreams…. and grateful for whatever the achievement status.

Dreams make me alive and keep me focus on things; that’s why developing “a proper dreams” become very essential. Based on my experience, it would be perfect if I build my dreams after some series of meditation; after I talk to myself and see the true of me.

I wanna live my life, wish a better happy life. But again, I only could live this life… but still I could dreams… and wish my dreams come true.



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dreaming Ladakh

Build dreams… is one of my hobbies and since years ago I was dreaming to visit Ladakh. Why Ladakh?

I see Ladakh as a mysterious place and very unique. Besides, it would tells me a lot about “the north life” and the way they’re living this world.

Some people said: it is too far from Indonesia and too dangerous.

One day, I’m gonna be there… share my gratitude for the priceless blesses 🙂


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life of an indigo

again, I read an article about indigo… and always end-up with: okay, I will live with this situation.

the article is written at 2010 and very interesting, and I found the point from this is “Self understanding can be enough to save an indigo’s life”.

here are recap of indigo’s traits, at least 15 traits e.g:

  1. feeling like an alien
  2. anger
  3. high self esteem
  4. resistence of authority, structure, and hierarchy
  5. seeing through lies
  6. breaking down structure
  7. radical authenticity
  8. love
  9. depression is common
  10. a sense of mission
  11. power, creativity, and energy
  12. intuition
  13. loners
  14. sensitivity
  15. strong connection with plan and animals; etc

the source is: http://www.sophiagubb.com/how-to-tell-if-you-are-indigo/

living this world is such a challenge and seeing this world like this made me confuse most of the time; till everyone said: you are over thinking!

ya, I am overthink most of the thing, especially those catch my eyes. this way of life somehow “not really good” cause “not common” for most of people; so, no wonder they call me weirdo sometimes 🙂

but again, every body has their own life and purpose of living this world; the point is let’s enjoy this life with our own ways.




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Teman tuk melangkah :)

Selangkah.. dua langkah… kakiku melangkah di selasar kantor tercinta. Ternyata sudah hampir 9 tahun aku melangkah disitu. Wow.. time gone by so fast! so much memories and achievement. Ya, so much!

Terbersit dalam benak, keren ya diriku ini karena bisa menjalani setiap langkah selama hampir 9 tahun. Jika dipikir-pikir, kesuksesan tersebut dikarenakan banyaknya kisah suka dan duka. Mungkin jika hanya kisah suka atau hanya kisah duka maka aku pasti sudah gagal dengan cepat… hanya keseimbangan yang membuatku survive.

Dalam menjalani setiap langkah, banyak teman yang menyertai: baik yang berwujud maupun tidak; baik yang hidup maupun tidak; baik berupa manusia maupun tidak. Diriku ditemani 2 benda yang membuatku selalu bersemangat, yaitu cincin kayu dan benang panca datu yang khas. Kenapa khas? karena tidak ada yang jual dipasar… keduanya khusus dibuat untuk diriku. Dengan demikian, it’s very personal and tak terhingga harganya. Thank you!

Keduanya sangat sederhana, namun selalu indah dan nyaman ketika kukenakan… banyak orang menggunakan beragam perhiasan yang berkilauan; namun bagiku, most of my time dalam semua events: kedua benda itulah yang selalu menemaniku karena keduanya tak tergantikan; jikalaupun aku menggunakan perhiasan lain maka mereka adalah pelengkap and I also really appreciate them 🙂

Mengingat setiap langkah dan setiap entitas yang menyertai adalah sebuah kewajiban yang merupakan bagian dari rasa syukur dan cara menumbuhkan kesadaran bahwa aku tidak bisa hidup sendiri. Memang aku lahir dan mati sendiri… namun mereka semua adalah entitas yang menolongku selama menjalankan tugas kehidupan dan melangkah hingga nanti masanya tiba aku siap mati sendiri.

Terima kasih for the best gifts ever…

My gratitude for you Wie…. I really love it and it’ll always be part of my life 🙂


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Punggung lusuh

10 tahun silam, tepatnya 10 tahun kurang 24 hari… Ku lihat punggung lusuh itu. Entah kenapa, aku tahu ku ingin menyentuh punggung lusuh itu, namun ku hanya bisa menatapnya penuh harap. Six sense… Seven sense… Semua dikerahkan agar punggung itu berbalik shg bisa ku lihat si empunya. Ya, dia berbalik.

Ku tahu dia tak kenal diriku, namun ku tahu aku mencarinya sepanjang hidupku.

Punggung lusuh itu, bercahaya, membuka gerbang duniaku; dunia yg kutemui hanya di alam mimpi. Ya, aku mimpi dan jd kenyataan.

Lama ku merenung, siapa dia… Sang pemilik punggung lusuh. Hingga akhirnya ku sapa dia, dan ku katakan “aku menantimu”.


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For you…

When I interested on something, like a book, usually I just open it and read whatever page it is with full attention. Today in periplus I spent my saturday looking for something… something new about life. Then I saw my favorite book, Memories. I flipped and opened… and read. The page entitled For You.

I stunned cause it really represent my feeling…. here the capture:

I wanna read it loud in front of you… only For You wie… ♡♡♡


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older n older

Time goes by and all things just gone. But still there’s bunch of memories worth to remember.

Just 30 years old I am.

If talk about achievement, probably half of my “kid’s dream” came true; then now preparing for the execution of next chapters.

When get older, my mind always flying to the memories of grandmother, who passed away at 100 (+) years old.
I knew her since she had become a tough single parent, then she babysat the grandchild; then she became older n older, going weak, couldn’t talk much, only ate traditional meal (honey + egg) + water, till at the end only a sip of water. Then she just smile n gone without any word….

Life is wonderful, I always saying. But ‘Yin n Yang’ always there…. Happiness n un-happiness 🙂
Yes, there’s no standard of happiness n un-happiness, it just depends on my perspective.

Based on my review, there some things that make people “pity on me” (I knew cause they said it). But after deep review, it’s just part of my life and actually not really bad (but challenge I thought). Again, it depends on the perspective.

Realistically, there some event made my tears rolling by (sometimes I called it un-happiness). But it’s ok, cause tears always be a good way to refresh my soul. I told myself: No time for give up, cause the sun still shining n the bird still singing 🙂

And after 30 years, I only feel grateful being a human n live in this fancy earth.

P.s: this year so unique cause surrounded by celebrations (Siwaratri, Saraswati, Laksmi, n Ganesha puja) – what a blessed n prosperous 30 ^^


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