By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

Just my boots

Beautiful moment not always about roses, candy, and girly gift…. it also about broken shoes and a pair of boots; just my boots 🙂

Six years ago, same like now, rainy season flooding the whole city, and I didn’t have “proper rainy shoes” to accomplish my mission from home to office (vice versa). I was only have fabric made shoes and as we know it supposedly for summer; but in fact I used it on rainy season cause I didn’t have the other.

One day, my fiancee asked about my shoes cause he saw it broken already but I still use it. I didn’t know how to answer cause at that moment I was broken too…I focused my salary for my master degree and english course and other personal development courses. Ya, I did prefer knowledge than fashion. So, I will end up in “un-fashion-able banker” category; that what people said he he he.

When my birthday came, surprisingly my fiancee shared his wish and asked me to go with him to the leather shop. Yea, he gave me a pair of boot, so it will protect my feet and comfort me. Yes, it does… it always protect me comfort me till now… after 5 years 🙂

I am really grateful. I like this boots cause it’s taylor made shoes; only for me and made based on my request. So it’s really fit my feet ♡♡♡

thank you Bli Danu…. 🙂


Woke up at the mid night could because some reasons:

1. Sleep early, so after 3 or 4 hours sleep then we woke up

2. Unconscious thoughts, so we looked like sleep but our brain was not. So usually, we just woke up with confusion and feel tired

3. A habit. Just a habit. Don’t know when it starts… but continously we woke up at mid night

then what did u do when woke up at mid night?

What about me?

I usually check my hand phone and clock. Take a breath and think slightly what happened; connecting with reality. Then, pray for the universe… wishing to the star… and say than you for everything.  Then I look for a book, usually novel or diary. I like read… it helps me to relax and sleep at the end. I also enjoy writing blog like now hehe he 🙂

Anyway, managing sleep time is important thing for me. So, now I wanna back to sleep then….

Have a good night 🙂


Happy birthday 24 january

42 years gone with stories behind… baby cried in the middle of the mist… in one of mythical lakes… in one of the most beautiful unique islands. Parent called him made sudarma.

day by day… year by year… life taught the boy tough life which no one experienced before…. he survived… he learned the meaning of life… the purpose of his existance… and the beauty of being a human.

love is his way of life… loving other creatures is his passion… to be loved is his destiny.

Happy birthday… my God always bless you with happiness and good fortune 🙂

Dedicated with love for bli danu dharma patapan ♡♡♡

-geg putu-


There was moments when I feel fulfilled and complete. It was when I found someone whose I am looking for along time…. someone who I saw just from behind.

It was 8 years ago when I was searching for someone… I didn’t know who is he… I only knew that I need to find him. I found some articles and it’s catch my attention… then I contacting the author and try to find out who is this person realy is. One night my cousin was telling me about the author, considering I didn’t know his face at the moment. My cousin pointed somebody’s back…. and suddenly I feel something… I found him. Someone I am looking for…. he is the one. The author!

The next day, I was thinking alot about the night…. and the great moment came when my office invited him as special guest. Wow…. him…?

Finally we made conversation only for 5 minutes. Enough for me. Unconsciously, I kept thinking about him…. he is the one I am looking for… 

Then the other moment just appear, when for the third time my office invited him. We talked alot this time…. and the next day he called me and we kept in touch via call n messenger.

Till one day, he came to me and told me that he wanna be with me. I was crying…. exited, delighted, grateful for all the moments….

Now we’ve been 7 years together and I love him more and more….

thank you bli danu…

When I read a good-vibe quote about “A HA” moment last month, I’ve been thinking about my situation and I feel that I need to gather my A-Ha moment again and again. Actually, there was so many “great” matters happened to me, sometimes it looked like a coincidence (a perfect coincidence) but I believe there must be a very good reason beyond…

For me, A-Ha moment not only about big thing or wonderful surprising matters, basically it is all about myself. When I’m crying, then my A-Ha moment is when someone available for me… just stay and accompanying me quitely without any judgment. Also, when I feel confuse and lack of idea, my A-Ha moment came when people smile at me so I feel relax and I can gain my energy to think creatively. When I met a small hungry cat, my A-Ha moment was when I shared my food and she looked at me with gratitude. When my dog Luna suffered from accident, then my A-Ha moment was when she stood up in front of me after long treatment by myself (a little girl who only could share her good and love) and I could see her tears.

Last week while attending in-house training session I found my A-Ha moment again… esp things related to socio physiological. I learned about this 18 years ago when I was in high school and I do need to rebuild it since now. Anyway, I joined module 1 of MDP program in the office. When I was in the class for 1 week, I found all those delivered is valid with my realistic life. Thank you Mr. Maxim Sytch, Dr Brown, and Mr. Kent for sharing all those fundamental concept.
Actually it reminds me that I am a human being who live not only with dog cat ant or bird, but also HUMAN (multi variants of unique living human) 🙂

That was my A-Ha moment, so many other A-Ha moments in fact… unspeakable (also unwritten) moments.


Thank you.


You’re the one I care for… bli danu…


Don’t say goodbye

Never say goodbye, title of a really nice song. I thought it’s logically correct, mythically correct too… why?

When we were born as a human or any other creatures, actually it was all set. Just look back and review a bit… why I born in that family, why he/she being my parent, why she/he become my siblings, why I met that person, why I feel dejavu, why….. All these “why” are part of Karmic cycles.

Every chapter of our life will link to the others, and it will match at some point because we are in the same Karmic cycle; that’s why we experienced dejavu.

So, actually we are never stay apart with each other; only follow the Karmic cycles… we are living in different dimension but it always connected, indeed.