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By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

My gratitude for You

Smile.. the only thing I could remember

when you came and said “hi..”

Your spirit… excitement…

spread out to the world

till molecules could feel the bliss.

.
Sing… when you sing a universe’s song

all creatures stayed and listend

quieted and listened… and smiled

they all mingled with the rhytm

dancing..  laughing… loving

and saying “thank you… thank you…”

.
You, a holy spirit

You, the one who always bring happiness

You, the one who always make me smile

You, the one who always love me

thank you, thank you, thank you

.
♡ putu ♡

Life is really kind to me and universe always supporting me to realize my dream. It was such very nice experiences. Yes, I faced hard-time sometimes, but I enjoyed it as a process. I believe everything has a limited time, nothing immortal, including problem. 
Anyway, now I am 44 years old, with a healthy and productive condition, and surrounded by a happy family; my husband and a twin 9 years old sons. I do really grateful for all gifts given to me. My husband is a Hindu priest and I learn a lot from him, because being a priest’s wife is not an easy job for me. I have accompanying him leading and managing Hindu celebration in Bali and other cities in Indonesia, also meeting leader of communities; mostly cross culture communities, considering my husband right now in-charge in Asia Pacific culture association. It was nice, challenging, and unique.

About career, so many people asked me about “how I manage time?” 

They see me always busy and handle so many roles, but still happy. Actually, now I am in-charge as one of senior executive in Government Institution – Bank Mandiri’s holding. I manage government’s strategies for the Banking industries (how bank addresses the digital world, how to manage their performance, acquisition, merger, etc). In fact, I am quite busy along this time, but I try to manage my limited time properly; so I can meet all my schedules. In the morning, I’m preparing my sons for school and my husband for his activities. Usually I made simple breakfast and prepare for lunch box. After that I went to the office which took 10 minutes by walk from my unit to the office. 

I live near by the office, in a classy comfy apartment, in Jakarta. We live in two cities right now, Bali and Jakarta. In Jakarta, I manage simple living in apartment, but in Bali we build our dream house – simple wooden house in Kintamani from where we could see Mount Batur, Mount Agung; such a very nice place. I dreamt that house 17 years ago and my husband build it 7 years after. 

Usually my husband and I went back to Bali every weekend, at least every two weekend. We have to manage some business in villages. We came from agricultural families and we want to expand our business line; not only as a farmer but also as a distributor of our products. This idea came from my husband 10 years ago and we try to make it true; start from small chunk and good fortune for us, right now our customer reach America and Australia. We love agricultural matters and really enjoy this kind of lifestyle. The boys sometimes accompanying us, so they can learn Balinese culture and mingle with societies. 

You know what? I still have time for blogging. I like writing since kid and before bed time I wrote something about daily activities and my views about life. Good thing for me when last month my follower achieve 5000 and actually I could put some adds on it and gain money from the adds; but I’m not really interesting on adds-money. I just want to share my thoughts. That’s it.

O ya, I remember when my husband and I visited Ladakh – near Himalaya, 10 years ago. We’ve stayed for 2 weeks and explored the villages and build communication with the societies; and we found out that Ladakh has connection with us. We met a small kid, a boy. He was running at us and smile friendly. I felt something, like a connection. I tried to talk to him in English. He didn’t speak English, but he looked understand what I meant. I saw his mother came to us and we build conversation. They were a simple family – they were a farmer. I discussed with my husband if we could help him; perhaps visiting this family next time or adopt this boy. At the end, we arrange Ladakh trip frequently every 2 years and we kept in-touch with the family. He is a big boy now and studying culture and history in one of top 10 universities in the world. Considering my husband is a “culture person”, at the moment we also did some research about connection of Indonesia – Ladakh culture. 

Talk about charity, actually in Kintamani – Bali we build an ashram where people could learn about Balinese culture; not only for Balinese people but also for foreigners. They could learn about Hindu, yoga, art, music, etc. We don’t charge them officially, but we open for donation. Some of them came from poor family, but we still welcome them. I am really grateful that we have chances to do this.

-putu in 2027-

For you…

When I interested on something, like a book, usually I just open it and read whatever page it is with full attention. Today in periplus I spent my saturday looking for something… something new about life. Then I saw my favorite book, Memories. I flipped and opened… and read. The page entitled For You. 

I stunned cause it really represent my feeling…. here the capture:


I wanna read it loud in front of you… only For You wie… ♡♡♡

-putu-

Just my boots

Beautiful moment not always about roses, candy, and girly gift…. it also about broken shoes and a pair of boots; just my boots 🙂

Six years ago, same like now, rainy season flooding the whole city, and I didn’t have “proper rainy shoes” to accomplish my mission from home to office (vice versa). I was only have fabric made shoes and as we know it supposedly for summer; but in fact I used it on rainy season cause I didn’t have the other.

One day, my fiancee asked about my shoes cause he saw it broken already but I still use it. I didn’t know how to answer cause at that moment I was broken too…I focused my salary for my master degree and english course and other personal development courses. Ya, I did prefer knowledge than fashion. So, I will end up in “un-fashion-able banker” category; that what people said he he he.

When my birthday came, surprisingly my fiancee shared his wish and asked me to go with him to the leather shop. Yea, he gave me a pair of boot, so it will protect my feet and comfort me. Yes, it does… it always protect me comfort me till now… after 5 years 🙂

I am really grateful. I like this boots cause it’s taylor made shoes; only for me and made based on my request. So it’s really fit my feet ♡♡♡

thank you Bli Danu…. 🙂

-putu-

Woke up at the mid night could because some reasons:

1. Sleep early, so after 3 or 4 hours sleep then we woke up

2. Unconscious thoughts, so we looked like sleep but our brain was not. So usually, we just woke up with confusion and feel tired

3. A habit. Just a habit. Don’t know when it starts… but continously we woke up at mid night

then what did u do when woke up at mid night?

What about me?

I usually check my hand phone and clock. Take a breath and think slightly what happened; connecting with reality. Then, pray for the universe… wishing to the star… and say than you for everything.  Then I look for a book, usually novel or diary. I like read… it helps me to relax and sleep at the end. I also enjoy writing blog like now hehe he 🙂

Anyway, managing sleep time is important thing for me. So, now I wanna back to sleep then….

Have a good night 🙂

-putu-

Happy birthday 24 january

42 years gone with stories behind… baby cried in the middle of the mist… in one of mythical lakes… in one of the most beautiful unique islands. Parent called him made sudarma.

day by day… year by year… life taught the boy tough life which no one experienced before…. he survived… he learned the meaning of life… the purpose of his existance… and the beauty of being a human.

love is his way of life… loving other creatures is his passion… to be loved is his destiny.

Happy birthday… my God always bless you with happiness and good fortune 🙂

Dedicated with love for bli danu dharma patapan ♡♡♡

-geg putu-

Memories….

There was moments when I feel fulfilled and complete. It was when I found someone whose I am looking for along time…. someone who I saw just from behind.

It was 8 years ago when I was searching for someone… I didn’t know who is he… I only knew that I need to find him. I found some articles and it’s catch my attention… then I contacting the author and try to find out who is this person realy is. One night my cousin was telling me about the author, considering I didn’t know his face at the moment. My cousin pointed somebody’s back…. and suddenly I feel something… I found him. Someone I am looking for…. he is the one. The author!

The next day, I was thinking alot about the night…. and the great moment came when my office invited him as special guest. Wow…. him…?

Finally we made conversation only for 5 minutes. Enough for me. Unconsciously, I kept thinking about him…. he is the one I am looking for… 

Then the other moment just appear, when for the third time my office invited him. We talked alot this time…. and the next day he called me and we kept in touch via call n messenger.

Till one day, he came to me and told me that he wanna be with me. I was crying…. exited, delighted, grateful for all the moments….

Now we’ve been 7 years together and I love him more and more….

thank you bli danu…