By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

When I was kid, every single time when I looked into the mirror, I’ve been thinking and asked myself “why I look so different with my siblings?”

Then I would come to my mom and ask that question. My mom has single answer till now “your face, your eyes, your skin quiet different with us but your character is combination of your father and me”.

Then I would smile widely… YES!!!

But the society didn’t see character at first, but the appearance. Then, everyone outside my family said “you look different”.

Then I have single answer for them “yes I am different and I am proud of it 😎”.

Actually, there are 2 main differences: my eyes and my skin. My eyes bigger than the rest of family, and my skin is darker than them.

When I travelling, overseas, almost all foreigners I’d met was guessing if I am a Phillipine or Thailand. Nope, I replied. I am Balinese. Have you been in Bali, I asked them back. Ya ya… , they replied.

In Detroit, I met a Chinese madam, and she asked me if I came from mainland China. She wanted ask me since beginning cause I looked like Chinese. WOW…. I smiled to her and answered politely if I am a Balinese, an Indonesian (south east asia).

She replied, oh… your eyes like chinese.

When I was in high school, I danced ~ Balinese dance. We danced in a group. All of us are Balinese. Then one of honourable guest asked me: you are origin Balinese, aren’t you?

Yes, I replied.

He guessed because he thought I have “balinese eyes”.


Based on all those experiences, I am still confuse untill right now. What is my eyes’ type or origin or more look like ??? 😅

Am I a “chinese”, “balinese” OR “chinese-balinese hybrid” ?? 🤔☺️

Or…. 🤔🤔😑🙄😁

But, back to my mom answer: you are our daughter who born at Batukaru valley. (period)👌


Being in present

In so many books written “live in present cause right now is a present”. Then some mentors told me so. But, that is a challenge when you are always experiencing “dejavu”.

Mostly dejavu related to past life and somehow sometimes we stuck in that “dejavu”, which impact our present life — we are not being in present.

But, being in present is a clue to continue this life.

This afternoon I told myself to be in present. I walk in the alley and breath the air. I felt the sun and feel the wind blows, also recognizing all entities around me; in silence. I wanna remember all these, remember that I’ve been walking on that alley. Right now in here I wrote this article, this is the present.

Being in present doesn’t mean to forget the past life, but honouring the present life; as well honouring the past life.

But still, there will be still same basic question: who am I? why I’m here?

Whatever it is, I choose to walk this life the way it should be; the best I could based on my interpretation. Life is mystery and might be it will be always like this. There is no right or wrong, not as simple black and white, and no single answer for every single questions.

Thank You for all these memories, all those beautiful memories.




Wuji is a song title in The Untamed.

Based on wikipedia, wuji means… =

Chinese wuji 無極 “limitless; infinite” is a compound of wu  “without; no; not have; there is not; nothing, nothingness” and ji  “ridgepole; roof ridge; highest/utmost point; extreme; earth’s pole; reach the end; attain; exhaust”. In analogy with the figurative meanings of English pole, Chinese ji  “ridgepole” can mean “geographical pole; direction” (e.g., siji 四極 “four corners of the earth; world’s end”), “magnetic pole” (Beiji 北極 “North Pole” or yinji 陰極 “negative pole; cathode”), or “celestial pole” (baji 八極 “farthest points of the universe; remotest place”).

Common English translations of the cosmological Wuji are “Ultimateless” (Fung and Bodde 1953, Robinet 2008) or “Limitless” (Zhang and Ryden 2002), but other versions are “the ultimate of Nothingness” (Chang 1963), “that which has no Pole” (Needham and Ronan 1978), or “Non-Polar” (Adler 1999).

And I found the lyrics of Wuji song. It is lovely…. don’t know if the english translation correct or not. But still it is lovely.

========= source: https://www.smule.com/song/%E8%82%96%E6%88%98-xiao-zhan-%E7%8E%8B%E4%B8%80%E5%8D%9A-wang-yi-bo-%E6%97%A0%E7%BE%81-wu-ji-ost-the-untamed-karaoke-lyrics/9754148_9754148/arrangement

无羁 Wu Ji (Ost The Untamed)
肖战 Xiao Zhan & 王一博 Wang Yi Bo
Upload by a_Xan9

wén..dí shēng dú chóu chàng
yún shēn yè, wèi yāng

shì.. yǔ fēi dōu guò wǎng
xǐng lái le
zěn néng dāng mèng yī chǎng

hóng chén zhōng
huǐ yù dé shī rú hé qù liàng

xiāo xiāo xuè rè dāo fēng liáng

shān gāo shuǐ yuǎn
yòu wén qín xiǎng

chén qíng wèi jué
wò dí huā yuè rú shuāng

zhǔ yī hú shēng sǐ bēi
huān jì shào nián láng
míng yuè yī jiù hé lái chàng wǎng

bù rú xiāo xiāo sǎ sǎ
lì biàn fēng hé làng

tiān yá yī qū gòng yōu yáng


chuān.. wàn shuǐ guò qiān shān
lù jìn rén, máng máng

shì.. yǔ fēi dōu guò wǎng
xǐng lái le
jiù dāng tā mèng yī chǎng

hóng chén zhōng
huǐ yù dé shī rú hé qù liàng

xiāo xiāo xuè rè dāo fēng liáng

shān gāo shuǐ yuǎn
yòu wén qín xiǎng

chén qíng wèi jué
xiào shì shì duō wú cháng

zhǔ yī hú shēng sǐ bēi
huān jì shào nián láng
míng yuè yī jiù hé lái chàng wǎng

bù rú tǎn tǎn dàng dàng
lì biàn fēng hé làng

tiān yá yī qū gòng yōu yáng

zhǔ yī hú shēng sǐ bēi
huān jì shào nián láng
míng yuè yī jiù hé lái chàng wǎng

bù rú tǎn tǎn dàng dàng
lì biàn fēng hé làng

tiān yá yī qū gòng yōu yáng..
tiān yá yī qū gòng yōu yáng…




The Untamed ~ a movie

This week is a tough one and every day I slept late, after 1 am. Fortunately I found this movie in Netflix and this movie accompanied me at office till late night. In fact, I can stay awake and feel good; plus all jobs done well.

I only can say if this movie is lovely; just fit with me. It consists of 50 episodes. The movie involves concept of Yin & Yang, there is no right and wrong, no black and white, be kind to anyone, stay true, and smile… Even though life very tough, but kindness and faith make us easier to step forward. Someone who love us unconditionally is the most matter.

Soul connection and believing, two things this movie reminded me about.

Also, this movie reminded me about a vision when I and him dress up just like them (just like this movie). We sat and meditate in a place on the misty hill. I saw the vision couple years ago. For now, I found the misty hill already, and I found him as well. No wonder I like this movie so much.

Life, thank you so much and I’m sorry. Wie Danu, thank you so much and I am sorry.





When He came to my dream and helps me in any way. Then, we speak His name… Harenam Harenam Harenam.

His love make us strong. His love brought us to this life and make us together.

His smile calm our heart…. and make us smile in return.

He taught us about love, the unconditional love.

Krsna… our greatest gratitude for You.

Harenam Harenam Harenam



Selamat pagi…

Matur suksma wie… 🤗

Wie, juga, tetaplah menjadi baik sampai akhir 🥰


Alkisah lipstick

Meski saya tomboy, namun sejak mengenal benda di toko, selalu nagih beli kutek dan lipstick. Si ibu pusing…. 😅

Seiring berjalan waktu, lingkungan dan aturan sekolah relatively mendorong gaya tomboy saya. Namun, bawaan orok itu gak bisa dihilangkan…. ntah bumi dari bulat jadi datar dan bulat lagi, kegemaran akan kutek dan lipstick tetap terdepan. Ditambah lagi…. hmmm… ada mbok wayan A dan bli mangku yang tak lelah2 mendorong saya utk merealisasikan aspirasi hehehe

Alhasil…. kutek, lipstick, dan parfume menjadi penambah kebutuhan primerku. Dengan demikian prasyarat menjadi kebutuhan primer pun ditetapkan. Banyak mencoba lipstick, khususnya yang ramah bibir. Akhirnya beberapa tahun terakhir memutuskan berlabuh pada YSL.

Juga, YSL ini sering punya edisi limited dan local promo di masing2 negara, sehingga menambah keunikannya. Dari sisi kualitas lipstick, saya merasa cocok karena tidak beraroma keras (nyaman bagi hidung saya yg sensitif aroma), tidak berasa yg berarti (nyaman untuk lidah yang sensitif rasa), ramah dengan bibir sehingga warna alami bibir terjaga dengan baik, dan warnanya beragam shg cocok dengan kesenanganku.

Dari sisi harga, sesungguhnya berbanding lurus dg kualitas. Di Indo dan Singapore gak jauh beda harganya… di angka 400 an ribu juga. Cuman di luar negeri sering ada diskon. Kalo di Jakarta diskon kosmetik adalah yang paling susah ditemukan.

So, dari beberapa tahun terakhir… baru nemu 2 edisi unik n limited untuk tutupnya. Spt gambar berikut:

Jadi…. yang penting ketika memilih lipstick adalah

  1. Keramahan pada kulit bibir
  2. Bahan baku lipstick
  3. Aroma…. jgn sampai lipstick aromanya bikin mual
  4. Warna yang disesuaikan dengan warna diri
  5. Harga

Demikian…. 😊