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By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

When I read a good-vibe quote about “A HA” moment last month, I’ve been thinking about my situation and I feel that I need to gather my A-Ha moment again and again. Actually, there was so many “great” matters happened to me, sometimes it looked like a coincidence (a perfect coincidence) but I believe there must be a very good reason beyond…

For me, A-Ha moment not only about big thing or wonderful surprising matters, basically it is all about myself. When I’m crying, then my A-Ha moment is when someone available for me… just stay and accompanying me quitely without any judgment. Also, when I feel confuse and lack of idea, my A-Ha moment came when people smile at me so I feel relax and I can gain my energy to think creatively. When I met a small hungry cat, my A-Ha moment was when I shared my food and she looked at me with gratitude. When my dog Luna suffered from accident, then my A-Ha moment was when she stood up in front of me after long treatment by myself (a little girl who only could share her good and love) and I could see her tears.

Last week while attending in-house training session I found my A-Ha moment again… esp things related to socio physiological. I learned about this 18 years ago when I was in high school and I do need to rebuild it since now. Anyway, I joined module 1 of MDP program in the office. When I was in the class for 1 week, I found all those delivered is valid with my realistic life. Thank you Mr. Maxim Sytch, Dr Brown, and Mr. Kent for sharing all those fundamental concept.
Actually it reminds me that I am a human being who live not only with dog cat ant or bird, but also HUMAN (multi variants of unique living human):)

That was my A-Ha moment, so many other A-Ha moments in fact… unspeakable (also unwritten) moments.

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Thank you.
-putu-

https://youtu.be/KLjpJZbxkAU

You’re the one I care for… bli danu…

-putu-

Don’t say goodbye

Never say goodbye, title of a really nice song. I thought it’s logically correct, mythically correct too… why?

When we were born as a human or any other creatures, actually it was all set. Just look back and review a bit… why I born in that family, why he/she being my parent, why she/he become my siblings, why I met that person, why I feel dejavu, why….. All these “why” are part of Karmic cycles.

Every chapter of our life will link to the others, and it will match at some point because we are in the same Karmic cycle; that’s why we experienced dejavu.

So, actually we are never stay apart with each other; only follow the Karmic cycles… we are living in different dimension but it always connected, indeed.

-putu-

Morning…..

Speaking about things… sometime easy, but when related to “love life” then getting difficult. So, mostly they wouldn’t express their true feeling and finally stuck at friend zone.

This Paulo’s quote quite true…

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Just enjoy and be kind….:)

-putu-

When I was kid, I had a dream to make something useful ~ something fascinating which related to math or technology or futuristic matters. Finally I ended up as a programmer and now as a banker:)

Being a programmer was challenging and every day gaining new ideas, also I made something; useful things those worth billions $_$
Furthermore, being a banker also interesting; most of parts. So many new things around me… market movements (macro and micro), customers’ interest/behaviour, bankwide picture and future projection, competitors, etc….

Then, after 10 years as a career woman (I define myself as a career woman), at some points I feel great, but sometimes boring and wanna do something “more important” for this life. Am I the one who feel like this? Or this is common phenomenon of “ten years career women”?

So, I don’t wanna stuck on these “boring” circumstances. Here are some of my perspectives, which could be as a clue:
1. Reviewing my own vision/mission is become prominent
2. Avoid routines and gain new ideas to challenge myself
3. Seeking alternative “refreshing” activities to balance my body, mind, and soul; I found some… new yoga teacher and new hiking plan. Nice!
4. Hanging out with “similar characteristics” friends, so we could share our life equally (just try to minimize the turbulence) ^_^
5. Communicate with family more frequently, cause family know me better.

Finally, what is the conclusion…. being career women is fabulous or boring?
My answer is…could be both, depends on how we manage our mind, body, and soul #_&

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-putu-

Martial arts

Martial arts are always interesting, but finally I found the only purpose of “tens years practices” is how to face the true enemy – myself.!. No enemy as powerful as ourselves.

No one of my Sensei(s) talked about defeated somebody else…. they were always talking about self control, self motivation, and self acceptance.

I agree with that!

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-putu-

Life is a journey, yes!

So many articles or slogans saying “life is a journey, enjoy it!”. Logically, I totally agree with that… however, after tens years of journey, I think it’s quite difficult to enjoy it >.<

So, I got some advices from "wise men" (I think they are wise) about how to enjoy this journey. Here some recap:
1. See life as it is
2. Life is like hologram…. just depends on how you see it
3. Be grateful for anything, life is always kind to us (link to Karmic concept)
4. Making wishes and dreaming great things always OK. Stay focus and working on…. after all, just let it (similar with Investment concept)
5. The way to enjoy is variance, keep going… and smile:)

First point seems simple, but difficult to apply cause I thought it needs an "advance" understanding about this journey…. if we couldn't understand it clearly, then we couldn't see the real thing about it.

Futhermore, point 2 – 4… I am on progress to learn about it:)

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-putu-

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