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By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

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Hidup di kota besar, kata orang enak. Hidup di kota besar, kata orang susah. Hidup di kota besar, kata orang menyeramkan.

Menurutku, hidup di kota besar membuat hidup makin complicated namun sarat makna.

Bulan purnama menyinari jalan di sebuah gang, klakson mobil dan motor bertalu, suara gendang ondel-ondel mengalun, teriakan pak ogah bersahutan, dan langkah gontai pengais rejeki menghiasi jalanan setapak. Itulah nuansa hidup di kota besar pada pukul 10-an malam.

Langkah gontai tidak selamanya gontai karena dihiasi dengan tatapan pantang menyerah dan senyum kepuasan “akhirnya hari ini berakhir, ku pun bisa tidur tenang”. Itulah kami… para pengais rejeki di kota metropolitan. Ada yang menyebut kami “kuli”, ada yang menyebut kami “pimpinan”, ada yang menyebut kami “bawahan”… namun pada dasarnya kami sama saja, manusia biasa yang selalu bersyukur atas sepiring nasi goreng di tengahnya malam.

Nuansa warkop adalah pelipur hati… hidup terasa lebih ringan tatkala mendengar guyonan warkop… pikiran pun terbang terbuka pada kenyataan bahwa “hidup lebih luas dari bidang gedung berbatas tembok”.

Hidup tidak terbatas pada orang berdasi atau berseragam… hidup juga diwarnai oleh mereka yang menjalani kehidupan diluar norma yang dianggap wajar. 

Kota besar mengajarkan banyak makna dan membuat hidupku lebih nyata. Ku pun bersyukur karena mereka semua membuatku tersenyum meski mukaku mengekeriput didera lelah…. orang tua tuna netra yang minta-minta di tengah malam, dia mengingatkanku bahwa hidup bisa berjalan jika disertai usaha. Anak-anak pengusung ondel-ondel mengajarkan bahwa “joy brings life”. Guyonan warkop mengajarkan istilah-istilah yang memudahkan ku bergaul tatkala jaman kian bergerak.

Itulah sekelumit kisah kota metropolitan yang sarat makna.

♡putu♡

Movie review: O Mirzya

Sunday is a day when I give myself a chance to enjoy my hobby: watching movie and writing. Today I fulfilled them both. 

Before I review this movie, actually I found this coincidentally and I felt this movie is ok, then I spared 2 hours for it. In fact, it is worth my 2 hours.

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The movie started with a blacksmith in a village doing metal things and the story begin. The scenes was about a princess in an old Indian Kingdom. Her name is Sahiba. 

Mirzya is a warrior. His life is all about bow and arrow. He fell in love with Sahiba, till one day they ran away at the night before Sahiba’s wedding day. There was a prince who will marrying Sahiba.

The scenes move to the modern life where two kids enjoy their morning while walking to the school. They are Monish and Soochi (Suchitra). They are best friend, in fact they love each other. Every morning Monish bring a sweet for Soochi, till one day he forgot to bring it; then he ran back home to take it. So, he arrived at school pretty late. 

In the class, when teacher asked Monish why he’s late, then Monish told him if he ran back home to take his homework. Then, the teacher wanted him to show the homework, also he requested Soochi as well. But, Soochi was telling the teacher if she hadn’t done the homework. Finally the teacher punished Soochi and Monish got angry; he want a revenge.

Soochi’s father is a police officer, and in the middle of the night Monish stole the gun from Soochi’s house. In the morning, Monish shot the teacher till dead. Monish entered the jail for children and Soochi leave the city.

After years, they met again. Soochi lives abroad and her fiance is a prince. Monish ran away from the jail and live in blacksmith’s village. He changed his name become Adil Mirzya. 

Love never dies, that is the lyrics of the song. Just like Monish and Soochi…. their love never dies. Finally Soochi found out if Adil Mirzya is Monish and she want to live with him cause she loves him. 

Life getting harder when they ran away. Just so similar with life of Mirzya and Sahiba. 

Actually, Mirzya reborn as Monish and Sahiba reborn as Soochi. They made a promise to love each other forever.

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In my opinion, this movie is one of Indian best movies. The story flows from the beginning to the end and build a “realistic” experiences. This is lovely. I call it “realistic” because in Hindu we believe about Karmic cycles and this movie is all about it. 

Also, about the music. They combine the traditional tunes and modern, which become a very cool combination. The dance, the village’s ladies, the strength, the beauty… it all mixed and build a beautiful scenes.

Frankly, I couldn’t describe this movie much further. Just watch it and feel it, I think it will be much better than only read or talk about it. 

This is the link from youtube: https://youtu.be/vspShq6SJtM

I just feeling grateful after watching the movie. I experience all the story, right now on my current life. Life is beautiful and getting more beautiful when I saw what I believe… when I saw him, and I be with him. 

I only can share my gratitude to the universe 🙏🙏🙏🙏

♡putu♡

Survive is the only way 👌

Ketika hendak sakit dan tubuh terasa melemah, sometimes ingin nangis dan merengek-rengek kesakitan dan memelas. Basically, boleh saja sih…. namun akan garing sekali jadinya jika merengek-rengek pada angin sepoi-sepoi dan rumput bergoyang 😅🙄

Jadi intinya… mending tidur dan minum vitamin dan makan sehat yg banyak; instead of merengek-rengek nangis ndak jelas 👌👍☺

Hal serupa sangat sering terjadi… hidup sulit, itu udah pasti. Namun apakah perlu kita ungkapkan kepada semua umat? Hmm…. I don’t think so, karena gak ada relevansinya juga sih… sama kaya merengek-rengek pada angin sepoi-sepoi tadi 😁

Trus, apa yang perlu disampaikan tatkala ada orang yang bertanya hal personal, dan cenderung memojokan; padahal belum memahami detail kisah (karena mereka gak relevan memahami kisah sebetulnya) ?

Menurut beberapa arahan yang saya terima, berikut jawabannya:

  • Senyum ramah dan stay positive
  • Jawab normatif sambil senyum
  • Gak usah panjang lebar dibahas lebih lanjut
  • Kreatif cari ide utk bahas tema lain
  • Manage our psikologi shg gak desperado dan malah jadi ndak waras

Intinya adalah tetep survive sesuai dengan pilihan atau kata hati diri sendiri.

Kalau pelan-pelan saya mencerna ilmu sosiologi yang pernah saya terima, ilmu terkait behaviour manusia itu termasuk yang paling kompleks dan susah dipahami. Jadi, pelan-pelan saja menghadapi dunia… wong ilmunya sulit dipahami 😊😊 yang penting: harus survive 👌

Demikian sekelebat pemikiran yang muncul tatkala mengunyah snack dari Solo dan nyeruput minuman dari Ausi.

Have great days for all and please enjoy this life, also please don’t forget to say THANK YOU 🙏🙏😊

♡putu♡

My January

When 1st of February came, actually I forgot to write about my January. Frankly, January is always a hectic month for me, especially this year. Start from the first day till last day of January I had homework that needs to be done. That was OK and lovely 😄

One thing I’d experienced was when I forgot the “salary date”. It is every 25th of the month and I just forgot… and that was the first time I forgot about the date after 14 years of working 🙄😅

My January was great and there was some great things I’ve experienced, such as:

  • Movie, music, picture, and other “art matters” are more meaningful for my life when I could share the beauty of it to others; so it could make the others feel better
  • After 1 year plus having daily vitamins, I found out that my health is getting better and if I got health problem then it was minor. Thank you Bapak Herman for always telling me to drink the vitamins
  • Again, vipasanna meditation really helps us; especially when life getting tougher and both of us (me and bli mangku) were very busy. When we sat and breath calmly, our body relaxed and we could see things clearer (including the problems) and somehow we just could understand it better. Also, we could see the positive side of the issues, so we could face it with gratitude. 
  • This month, I realized that pray is the best gift . A physical gift at birthday sounds very nice, but I found that a pray with pure heart is the best gift
  • It was feel so nice and exciting when finally we arrange a trip together; considering bli mangku’s schedule is so tight and he would be fully occupied along this quarter
  • When I mingled with my team whose age less than 25, I found that they also enjoy the 80’s style. At the moment I’ve been thinking about what we (gen X and Y) call “millenial style”, which mismatch with their preference at some points. Some times we tried to change our style, so we could fit with the millenial’s; but in fact, the “real millenial” themselves, they really enjoy the gen X’ and Y’ style

Today is 3rd of February and I’m gonna experience so much new wonderful things along this month which enrich my life. Somehow I just believe in it 🙂

Along January, there was some good quotes from bli mangku which made me survive better and happier (he wrote it all in FB page = mutiara dharma). Even though sometimes we couldn’t communicate by voices, but our thought was connected us even more. Wie, thank you so much… matur suksma 🤗😚💓

♡putu♡

Serabi

Pagi ini ku bangun pagi, dan pilihan banyak melintas di benak: tidur, renang, jalan kaki, ato makan?

Alhasil pilihan jatuh pada:

  1. Tidur hingga suara jam weker berkoar-koar memenuhi relung kepala dan sanubari
  2. Makan sarapan pagi ala kadar
  3. Jalan kaki dengan tambahan tujuan mulia: mewujudkan cita2 sohibku si Denny tuk makan serabi notosuman

Alhasil, ku pun menunaikan sarapan singkatku dg bli mangku, kemudian kami melangkah menelusuri jalan sesuai arahan supir becak. Kami pun melangkah dan melangkah dan terus melangkah…  hingga bingung ntah arah kemana. Alhasil kami bertanya lagi dan bertanya lagi. Setelah 4 blok panjang terlewati, aroma pandan… aroma kelapa menembus hidung. Nikmatnya…. ternyata disanalah toko Serabi Notosuman yang sangat terkenal di Surakarta – Solo. 

Dengan sigap ku pesan beberapa kotak dan bayar. Lumayan juga harganya, utk edisi original seharga 26 ribu untuk sekotak isi 10, kemudian utk edisi campur antara original dan coklat menjadi 27 ribu sekotaknya, dan 28 ribu untuk sekotak edisi coklat. Agar keinginan terpenuhi semua, maka kubeli 3 kotak edisi campur.

Setelah keluar dari toko, kami pun tengok kanan… tengok kiri… kemana harus melangkah. Tiba-tiba pikiran cerdas muncul: wie, lihat google map. 

Pas click “direction”, ternyata tokonya dekat dengan hotel hahahhahahaaa. Lalu ngapain tadi pagi kami sibuk2 nyasar dan nanya ke semua orang ya???

Mungkin kami terlalu ingin menikmati kota Surakarta hingga lupa dengan kemajuan teknologi 🤭🤭😁

O ya, ternyata tokonya ini udah buka dari jam 7 pagi, dan yang menarik adalah…. mereka dapurnya ada di luar sehingga pengunjung bisa melihat mereka memanggang serabi dan menikmati aroma duniawi dengan puasnya ☺☺

Demikianlah kisah serabi hari ini… ternyata dari survey pada 4 orang, semua memilih bahwa edisi original lebih nikmat hehe 😊

Kalau menurutku, yang original terasa enak karena rasa dan aroma pandan, kelapa, dan beras itu masih kental sehingga kenikmatan yang asli sangat terasa. Namun kalau yang coklat, mostly rasanya seperti martabak coklat karena aroma coklat menutupi aroma dan rasa pandan dan kelapa. Intinya: aku suka dua-duanya sih 😅👌 

Salam serabi!!

♡putu♡

Ms P: Girls, tolong buat memo untuk perihal kemarin ya?

One of the girls: Okay

Ms P: inget nanti review the details sebelum submit ke saya ya

One of the girls: ok, siap

The other girl: hmmm… apa yang dimaksud oleh Ms P ?

One of the girls: maksudnya ini loh… harus dibeginiin..

The other girl: hmmm, gitu ya… oke oke… baru saya ngeh… ternyata harus begitu ya.

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Nah, itulah sekelumit pembicaraan ringan yang selalu terdengar di dunia kerja setiap harinya. Selalu ada “kebingungan” bagi para pendatang baru. Dalam kisah di atas, “The other girl” adalah pegawai baru yang baru lulus dari bangku kuliah. The only clue yang bisa aku share adalah how to minimize the confusion?

Ketika bicara pekerjaan, menurut pengalamanku selaku orang yang bekerja dari kecil, pengetahuan itu tidak selalu menghampiri kita. Most of the time aku sendiri yang mengejar pengetahuan tersebut. Clue no.1: aktif mencari tahu dan ketika pengetahuan datang… sambutlah dengan suka cita.

Bagiku, tidak ada pengetahuan yang tidak berguna, aku percaya bahwa suatu hari semua yang aku pelajari akan ada masanya untuk digunakan. Hal ini yang membuatku berupaya untuk terus menerus melatih setiap pengetahuan yang aku terima. Contoh sederhana adalah menulis. Waktu SD aku belajar menulis, kemudian Bapa memintaku untuk rajin mengarang guna mengasah kemampuanku menulis, selanjutnya ku pun rajin menulis tentang apapun… hingga saat ini. Dampak dari hal ini adalah aku bisa dihandalkan dalam menulis untuk urusan banyak hal. Clue no.2: terus asah pengetahuan.

Ketika kita memasuki sebuah lingkungan baru atau komunitas tertentu, ada kalanya kita terlalu fokus pada skill yang selalu digunakan oleh lingkungan tersebut. Contoh ketika di bangku kuliah mengambil jurusan elektro atau teknik nuklir; ada kalanya tidak terlalu ingat dengan pelajaran sastra, sejarah, pancasila, seni & budaya, memasak, pramuka, atau hal lainnya. Padahal ketika kita memasuki dunia kerja, most of the time kita dituntut untuk memahami banyak hal. Dari sekian banyak lulusan teknik dari universitas ternama, berapa banyak dari mereka bercita-cita untuk memiliki karir yang moncreng dan menjadi pimpinan? jawabannya: banyak sekali.

Oleh karena itu, lulusan dari univ ternama atau terbitan dari komunitas tertentu tidak akan serta merta membuat kita hebat. Clue no.3: menjadi specialist is OK, namun tetap bisa menjadi sosok generalist ketika dibutuhkan.

Itulah 3 clues yang bisa aku share siang ini. Dengan terus melakukan ketiga hal tersebut, ketika kita memasuki dunia kerja kantoran di usia 23 tahun maka semoga pengetahuan selama 23 tahun tersebut mampu membuat survive di lingkungan pekerjaan. Namun menurutku, ketiga hal tersebut valid untuk semua level kehidupan…. hal ini yang membuat kita menjadi “experienced person”.

Semoga bermanfaat dan happy Monday 🙂

♥putu♥

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This morning is unique

Today is Monday.

Actually, hari ini aku merasa pagiku unik, kisah dimulai:

  1. Aku merasa udara so soft and calming
  2. Aku menemukan musik meditasi, kombinasi Indian flute dan Tibet bowl
  3. Ku pun merasa musik itu sangat pas jika diputar saat ku ada di Candi Dieng, menghadap sang surya d pinggir danau yang mengelilingi candi
  4. Ku rasa waktu berjalan lambat, namun ternyata jam sudah menunjukan pukul 07.15 am, hingga ku langsung lari mengejar ojek yg sudah menanti
  5. Ku tiba di kantor pukul 07.25 am dan melihat antrian masuk lobby yg mengular, ku pun pasrah “pasti telat”
  6. Ku putuskan tuk beli kue dulu sebagai teman kopi bali-ku tuk sarapan
  7. Ku mengantri dan angin sepoi menerpaku dengan ramahnya… ku tersenyum damai
  8. Pas di antrian, waktu terasa lambat meski ku lihat orang2 bergerak normal
  9. Pas tiba d mesin absen, wow… pas pukul 07.30 am (aku tidak telat…  yeayyy)
  10. Ku lihat antrian naik lift yang lebih panjang lagi, hingga ku putuskan naik tangga. Tanpa kusadari, betul2 aku kaget… tiba2 aku udah di lt.3, padahal rasanya baru naik bbrp anak tangga
  11. Trus aku buat kopi, aku mengaduk kopi terbalik. Baru sadar setelah bbrp lama mengaduknya
  12. Ku pun baca Bhagavad Gita dengan berdoa terlebih dahulu dan yg terbuka ayat 7.29 dan 7.30

Today is lovely day and I’m gonna really grateful for this 😊🌞

♡putu♡