By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640

45 years Journeys, of Wie.

Wie Danu, happy birthday

On the day, you were enjoy the womb,

Sleeping in it and swam slowly – in your little pool,

Then a voice called your future name ~ danu…. danu…

You were open the eyes and looked for it

You were moving and stretching,

And you were born, and saw the world.

Happily you wanna swim to the bigger pool ~ Batur lake

Happily you were swimming and swimming and looking for the voices,

They were happily welcoming you,

Cause you are their light of life,

The one who they gonna rely on,

They… the unseen holy creatures ~ they are your best friends.


Life is a wonderful adventure for you,

Till today.. 45 years of journeys,

You’ve met many things, but never give up,

You live this life fully.

Days are passed by, thought written by,

But Light, your light…. never fades away.


with love,


Jaman sekarang semakin banyak “basic instinct” yang menjadi tren, salah satunya konsep kolaborasi dg asas kekeluargaan/kebersamaan (bahasa Inggrisnya: mutual relationship).

Setelah direnung-renung, ternyata ada satu hal yang berdampak besar pada kolaborasi, yaitu tingkat kecerdasan.

Hmmm…. pantesan dahulu si Bapak Bong sering bilang: putu, you have to upgrade your knowledge if you wanna deal with them.

OK Pak, sahut saya singkat. Meski faktanya gak semudah ucapan. Upgrading the knowledge is not merely about brain capability (technique), but also about mind, soul and humanity level. Kompleks ya, tapi begitulah adanya 👌

Kolaborasi ini menyentuh beragam lini, baik dalam persahabatan, profesional pekerjaan, persaudaraan, community development, maupun hubungan personal love life.

Tanpa level kecerdasan yang cukup, saya rasa kolaborasi menjadi sulit dilakukan karena ketika ketimpangan semakin besar maka akan ada salah satu pihak yang merasa diperlakukan tidak adil.

So, slogan “Belajar Tak Boleh Henti” jadi semakin valid ya. Istilah di bahasa Jepang yang wajib selalu diingat = Shin Gi Tai (jiwa, badan, skill harus connect dan selaras). Hmmm…. semangat!!!! 😁

Semoga kehidupan makin baik dan semakin baik. Harenam Harenam Harenam 🙏


A reason to live longer

When life looks complicated and messed up, one thing that we need to do is BALI (Back And Look Inside).

After see things in better/clearer way, then we still have choices to call this life “messed up” OR “nice place”. It just up to us.

One day, a mentor taught me about the implementation of relativity theory in daily life: putu, somehow there is no right or wrong, it all just depends.

Since then, I follow that way of thinking, cause I found it’s valid. It all just depends.

Then, based on that point of view, eventually I found a reason to live longer: fulfilling the remaining dots

Afterall, these what I have done so far, but there are still remaining dots to fulfill.

Thank you Krsna, thank you wie danu…. I still could see the remaining dots 🙏



Ketika menjalani hari, ada ragam perilaku dan pemikiran yang perlu diterapkan. Dalam suatu masa di sekolah SMA, arahan diterima agar kami para siswa harus mampu mandiri dan berpikir dewasa, yaitu kedewasaan berpikir adalah 5 tahun di atas usia.

Kemudian, dalam daily life, khususnya saat berulang tahun, sering terjadi kisah tebak-tebakan usia…. dan mostly orang menebak usia lebih muda dari sesungguhnya yaitu mostly 5 tahun di bawah usia sebenarnya.

Jadi, sesungguhnya saya itu berada di titik “0” sepertinya. Physical 5 tahun di bawah usia sesungguhnya; dan pemikiran 5 tahun di atas usia sesungguhnya. Bingung kan…. heheheh.

So, hidup rasanya seperti dalam dunia “rentang”…. yaitu -5 s.d +5  ^_^!

stay alive and be grateful ♥



Officially: 37 years

Based on government info, today I live this world for 37 years already. Pretty long… or might be pretty short.

Usually, most of people doing “life review” on their “important date”. But this time I feel a bit “different”, cause today I do not really wanna doing any review. I just wanna do what I want to do, see what in front of me, listen what voices came to my ears, feel what is fit with my sense.

Frankly, I don’t know if this is kind of “late thirty syndrom” or just me. Somehow my feeling today so simple: I only wanna share gratitude to the universe, wanna share more to the needed, less asking, and smile just the way it should be; also willingness to stay true.

I didn’t expect too much for today, but fortunately my lovely friends and families called me since morning and shared message “happy birthday” + very nice wishes. Thank you so much 🌹🌹🤗🤗🤗🌹🌹

Even though today there is one missing thing, but still I wish everything gonna be OK and always believing about good end; if something really mean for us (written before we’re born), then it gonna be true.

Again, my gratitude for the universe and all living things whose accompanied me in this mundane world for 37 years 🙏🙏🙏☺️☺️🤗🤗🤗⚘


Tantra & Tantri

One day I dreamt about having a baby. Actually my dream started from pregnancy, living motherly life, and having a baby. Basically I know how to be a mother ~ sequential processes of being a mother. That dream was so vivid.

When I woke up, my mind flew to the name…. Tantra & Tantri. If the baby is a boy, then I’ll call him Tantra. If a girl, then Tantri.

When we live in multi-dimensional world, dream is not just a dream; somehow it would lead us somewhere. Also teaches us about life ~ the unseen world.

Tantra & Tantri lives in my heart. Couple years ago I represented the name of Tantra become Tantrayana Gautama (we have specific meaning with that name, representing both of us). Might be tomorrow or the other day I’ll represent something on behalf of Tantri.

If I have good fortune, Tantra and Tantri gonna be my future children’s name in current mundane life. Both of those name are very simple, but really meaningful (at least to me).

Hope this life bring us joy and good fortune, as always.



For You

When I couldn’t write about a thing, suddenly this picture appeared and feel like so right….

For you, wie…

Please stay alive. You can do it.