By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640


When I read an article in Financial Times about Electric Vehicle in the future which might be increase the need of copper become 100,000 tonnes per year in 2030, so the world need to increase the amount of new available copper each year by 60% (FT 20 March 2018, page 20); suddenly I remember of the “end of this earth”. Then I remember all these new born children… what will happen with their future and do they will still stay in this earth OR might be move to the moon or mars because the earth no longer exist OR no longer beautiful as now.

Five minute after read the article, then I review the human life and how they are really engage with marriage and eagerness of having children… then I ask myself: do we really need a marriage and a child? if the future getting worse (compare to now).

When I think deeper, the answer seems like “maybe”; maybe yes or maybe no.

Then what is the right answer? I just don’t know yet.

If I look into the Karmic concept, which said that we are living this life in the earth is part of punishment because in previous life we did something wrong. Then I could see, whatever I saw in this life for 35 years are actually connected and build a pattern… might be those patterns are my path, so I could move to a better place. However, the most interesting part is we (human) don’t have full capability to design our path. We certainly can try everything (as far as meet the range); but there is already available the grand design of our path. One of the paths for mostly people is about marriage and having children.

If we think about it or watch news about it; there are so much events and scenarios which people call “sadness”, “happiness”, “family problems”, “kid problems”, “late marriage”, “marriage by accident”, et cetera.. The question is why this event and scenario exists? is it also part of the grand design so people could finish their punishment? or this is the way so Karmic cycle can be continued?

I thought, might be this is a combination of those two; as a punishment people have a duty to continue the Karmic cycle, or might be vice versa. They have to follow all events and scenarios designed one full-pack (happy-sad-angry-joy-desperate-proud-bless).

Then, if we talked about grand design of living creature, it seems like unique for every single entity. That is why no single entity has a similar life; all have their own good and bad side differently. That also makes no single entity could judge about another entity; that’s why the word equality only exist and relevant when we are talking about human/creature right.

So, to me… look into the situation in this earth and Karmic cycle, thing I only could suggest is be a grateful person for whatever we see/experience/feel/think cause we only follow the grand design. If we destined to get married and having children… embrace it with full of gratefulness, even though we could predict the future of this earth might be not really good. But if we are not destined to get married, then don’t be sad… there are another paths that need to be followed and must done before we’re leaving this earth.

Most of the time we tried, yes we tried to do what we think are right for ourselves.. for our lover.. for our kids… for our families… for our societies… for this world.. for this earth; but if it beyonds our path, so there will be no result as we wanted.

Just be grateful, never stop to do good things, and keep trying!!!



Today is a celebration that we call Pagerwesi – Balinese Hindu celebrate it 4 days after Saraswati celebration. Today we do reflection and pray to God for goodness and fortune.

While self-reflection processes, I found my life sometimes looked pretty tough and tears started rolling by… then I thought it is very OK. Life looks tough and it’s OK. The point is how we address the situation when it looks tough.

As a mundane, I usually cannot sleep when so many things bugging in my head, then I’ll rewind my father’s advise: take a breath and exhale slowly, then share your sorrow to the universe… release it slowly… embrace the universe… hold it tight as it your lover… universe is always kind and always willing to help you, so do not hesitate to share your feeling to the universe. Then I’ll relax and sleep and having good dreams 🙂

Having good dreams while real-life is tough… it is like “water in the middle of the desert” which release all obstacle and I had chance to laugh freely. By the way, ability to laugh is the best part of my life. This reminds me of a movie entitled Captain Underpant — laugh is the greatest power. I’m grateful that I always can smile and laugh even life is tough; I call it a gift.

At this holy day, I also reminded by Bhagavad Gita that said: actually whatever happened, happened for the good, whatever is happening, is happening for the good, whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only

Then I inhale-exhale for couple of times and see thing from many perspective, then those words sounds very valid to me.

The other sentences from Bhagavad Gita that touch me so much: what is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow. You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. it is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrow.

So, I think there is no excuses to say “thank you” to the universe cause He always so kind to me, and always give me chances, also support me so I can live this life till now. Perhaps I still have so many things need to be done, so I have to survive till then.

Universe, thank you… I love u 🙂


Living enough

These last couple of months I have such a routine activity to watch YouTube about living big in tiny house, till I found some of it about Japanese tiny house.

One link I found is here: https://youtu.be/TYVJbupG3Xg

The video about an 8 meter square apartment in downtown Tokyo with US$600 cost per month (including all Wi-Fi and nice comfortable environement).

Based on my experiences living in Japan years ago, Japanese people like small apartment and they choose thing carefully so could meet their need and fit with the available space. That’s make them always being creative I thought. Also, there is one sentence I love so much about it “living enough”. They enough with themselves and all those “limited” belonging, also they really appreciate small little things.

I do really appreciate their way of life and I wanna be like that too…so that’s why I always seeking ideas about small house but meet my needs. Perhaps, unconsciously, that also makes me still stay in this cozy small room… still, I’m thinking: I don’t really need big space cause this still enough for me.

So, let live big in tiny house 😊😄😁👌👍


When they put their hope on me

Good morning

When I inhale and exhale consciously for couple of times then I heard myself talking: they have their hopes and they share it to me and they hope I could make it true. Hopes!

When I look into myself, I also have hopes and wishes. Since kid I learn to share, share my hopes and wishes to the universe; also learn how to make other people hopes come true.

When I realize that I only a common human who can cry, sad, smile, grateful; then I learn to accept that I cannot making true all those hopes (mine and others). At the end I learn to apologize to myself and others.

It all hard for me… all thing I’ve learned is a difficult matters but I have to cause that make life moving… making hope and wish, trial, apologizing, sharing kindness, be grateful.

Deep inside my heart I love every creature in this world cause they have kind heart actually even a bit. But in fact I couldn’t share my gratitude and in contrary I hurt them at the end… I run when I saw a big bug; even might be they just wanna say hello to me; and I hurt them cause I’m showing scary face and run hiding… 

Thank you for myself for writing this ♡♡


First of all I’d like to say: Happy Lunar New Year and may all of us fulfilled with good fortune 😊🙏

Talk about New Year, I.. like usual myself seeking something to do, and at this long weekend I spend my spare time by reading an old book (not too old actually, just a couple of years) entitled The Power Of Being Yourself.

I’ve made up my mind and asked myself: why I bought this book?

First answer came up: the title is so interesting, then the cover look so classsyyy… silver flush. I like it.

From the price perspective, in Indonesia it’s under category imported book and pretty expensive (around 250 thousand something IDR)… but for the latest price, please check Periplus Bookstore. In Amazon, right now it costs $9.79 USD (after discount) but it’s a blue cover (not silver flush like mine)

From the content perspective, this book is easy to read and easy to understand. The book material is a good quality and the font size not too small so make my eyes comfortable. The content is about the writer life experiences since kid till his late fifty (Joe Plumeri). His father is the one who built baseball’s stadium in Trenton and bring Trenton Thunder to New Jersey. In this book Joe Plumeri shares his way of life and his believes as a son, a friend, a partner, a husband, a father, a newbie in office, a partimer, a CEO, and a human being. Things getting better and GREAT when he become himself. 

My opinion: the story is beautiful. We do not need to copy his life… but he could inspires us and hopefully we can be a mature person who can see things from better perspective. To me, every single person has their own battle and this book inspires me a lot… Mr.Joe shares his battle and makes me think twice about life and re-ask myself regarding the fundamental matter — relationship with myself…passion…heart…dreams…

I’ve finished this book in not more than 12 hours (2 days timeframe: every day 2 hours in the morning and 4 hours in the evening). 

Next, I wanna share some beautiful thoughts from this book those might be also inspire you all:

  1. We’ve got to have heart and learn to trust our instincts. We must start talking to each other. We need to start laughing. We need to rub up against each other, open up to each other, take a chance on connecting, get sense of what it’s like to walk in other guy’s shoes. And above all we need to find the strength and fortitude to be ourselves
  2. You can’t do passion halfway. That’s not passion. Living your passion means you’re all in. You trust your heart and gut, wherever that takes you (keyword: work with passion and heart)
  3. About Churchill message: it is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we must do what is required
  4. You should always be full of hope and optimism but that hope wasn’t enough. Dreams alone didn’t count for anything. You also needed to articulate a vision that could then carry you forward to fullfilling those hopes and dreams
  5. Being Yourself  sounds like the easiest thing in the world, and in a way it is, but it can be hard too. It can be challenging. In the same way we neglect an honest dialogue with ourselves about how we were handling the most important challenge in our lives.

I think that’s all for now and for the complite stories then just buy the book and enjoy. 😁👍

Thank you so much for the visit to my blog. Have good day and stay positive and stay optimism and look up not down and be grateful 😇😇☺


Nyaman utk berbagi

When I say thank you for the small little thing I have then I just feel comfortable and free… semuanya terasa cukup dan nikmat sekali….. then I can smile happily…

Aku memiliki badan yang sehat, ada air minum tersedia, punya koran dan buku utk dibaca, punya dupa utk sembahyang, punya tempat tidur utk istirahat, punya sepatu, punya kuota internet, bisa memiliki perasaan sedih/bahagia/cinta, bisa merasakan cinta dan kebaikan, ada orang yg mencintai, bisa mencintai org, bisa jalan kaki dari kantor ke rumah, bisa menyapa tukang ojek n tukang parkir…. i just feel so lovely… these all more than enough!!!!

Saat itu perasaan cukup memenuhi ragaku… dan aku hanya ingin membagikan kebahagiaan ini utk semuanya…. share happiness to everyone…. share good moment…. positive thought…. smile…. every thing that make people feel better about this life. 

Life is wonderful cause it is really wonderful…. sadness, happiness, laugh, love…. it all is the art of life… let’s enjoy it all cause it all so lovely and make us alive.

Mari berbagi… 


Negeri tak berujung

Dentingan piano menemani khayal ku ke negeri tak berujung, ku lelah ku rasa… ku diam ku ingin….ku dekap kelam ku…ku sambut tawa ku… ku sapa sepi ku… 

Ku duduk dalam gelap nya kilau sentir… ku hirup aroma cempaka mu… ku sebut nama mu dalam nyenyak tidur ku…. ku sapa lewat angin… tuk hembus rindu ku..  untuk mu… penghuni negeri tak berujung.

Ku melangkah ku rasa… senyum mu… sayang mu… kuatkan ku arungi dunia mu… di negeri tak berujung

Lari ku…. nafas ku… lelah ku… ajari ku tuk bangun dan terus mlangkah… tapaki negeri tak berujung….