By Toni Bowers | October 9, 2012, 4:23 AM PDT

Last week I wrote a blog about how a tech can earn more money without becoming a manager. If, however, you still want to pursue the management track, please know that leadership is a skill in its own right. You may be a great tech, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be a great manager.

In that vein, here are some behaviors that I see most often in poor leaders:

#1 You don’t seek feedback, or if you do, it’s for the wrong reason.

I think everyone has had the experience of being asked for feedback, sometimes even in a formal program, and then have all that feedback subsequently ignored. Some managers like to say they welcome feedback just so they can look like the kind of person who, well, welcomes feedback. But, in reality, they have no intention of ever using it.

Don’t do that. Don’t ask for feedback unless you’re prepared to actually implement some of it. It’s a different story if all the feedback you receive sucks out loud and you can’t use it, but at least go in with the best intentions. There’s nothing worse for employee morale than to make them feel like they’re being condescended to.

#2 You never exhibit vulnerability.
You may be that person who knows everything about everything. If so, you should make plans to donate yourself to science, because that’s one heck of a claim.

Maybe you’re not perfect, but maybe you think you need to project that image to gain and retain the respect of your direct reports. Well, that’s just dumb, and here’s why: Your staff knows that you’re not supernatural, which is what you’d have to be to have all the answers all the time. By pretending like you do, you are only portraying yourself as someone who thinks he/she knows everything — in other words, a phony and/or an obnoxiously insecure person.

Also, acting like you know it all is bound to make your staff feel insecure. If you can’t admit to not knowing something, then they know that there will be quite a few times when you’re basically taking them down blind avenues.

Just remember: You hired your staff members for their expertise. Take advantage of that.

#3 You’re unavailable.
I had a boss once who boasted about his open door policy at every opportunity. The only problem was, the door might have been open but he was never in his office. That’s like saying someone can have the keys to your car any time but then hiding the car.

It is true that with a management role, there is a lot of liaising to do with upper management. You should never let that take over your availability for your team. I’m fairly sure upper management doesn’t need every second of your time.

If you’re chronically unavailable then it will be translated by your team that you just don’t care. And why should they care if you don’t?

Some managers get so involved in the day-to-day that they don’t even realize they’re committing one or more of these leadership sins. Make sure you’re not one of them.

Source: http://m.techrepublic.com/blog/career/the-three-most-damaging-management-behaviors-that-you-probably-dont-know-youre-doing/4640


Pada tgl 17 Agustus 1945, Bung Karno dan jajarannya bangun pagi-pagi (bahkan mungkin tidak sempat tidur) guna mempersiapkan deklarasi kemerdekaan Indonesia, dan Beliau berhasil.

Today, this morning…. life changes already dan aku bangun pagi-pagi langsung ambil handphone dan lihat berita dan review my life in this country. See…. so much changes already. The point is: life changed!!

Sebetulnya apa sih yg kita rayakan di tgl 17 Agustus ini? Apakah hanya sbg momen pengingat masa lalu? Atau apa?

Bagi ku, setiap tgl 17 Agustus adalah:

  1. Momen pengingat masa lalu
  2. Momen utk berterimakasih pada Tuhan karena aku diberi kesempatan lahir di negara ini
  3. Momen utk berterimakasih pada orang tua dan leluhur karena sudah stay d negeri ini dan berusaha membuat negeri ini a better place to live
  4. Momen utk berterimakasih kepada para Pahlawan shg kita bisa membangun negeri sendiri dengan ideologi lokal yang bernilai tinggi sesuai ajaran para leluhur ribuan tahun silam
  5. Momen utk berpikir dan bertanya pada diri sendiri: then what can I do to make this country become a better place for my children in the future?

Setiap tahun lima hal itu yg aku wajib lakukan; baik saat berbaris upacara bendera di lapangan nan panas, maupun saat leyeh leyeh di tempat tidur.

Next, let see what is next…. skrg waktunya tiba utk renung renung, so tulis menulisnya disudahi dulu, dan akan dilanjut next time dg inspirasi lainnya.

My gratitude for this country, Indonesia merdeka!!!


13 juli – 13 agustus

Judul diatas merupakan rentang sebuah perjalanan hidup yg penuh pemikiran, penuh perenungan, penuh pelepasan, penuh kepasrahan, penuh aliran nafas, penuh jalan kaki tuk urai kusutnya pikiran, penuh kasih, penuh harap, penuh penantian…. itulah 1 bulan bersejarah kami.

13 juli, ku pandang sosok di hadapan ku. Terurai air mata, sedih… sedih sekali. Bergerak tanganmu tuk rangkul badanku yg menipis. Seru sayang mu membuat kaki ku tergetar…hampir terjatuh. Rangkulmu membuatku terus bertahan dan bertahan.

13 agustus, ku tersenyum dan ku sapa sosok di hadapanku. Ku canggung. Ku belai wajahmu, ku genggam jemarimu… ku rasa semua kenangan kembali menerpaku. Ku ucap “terimakasih wie”.

Wie…. terimakasih. ♡geg♡

The blue gifts

This I call a beautiful coincident 😊

In 2012 my big boss left the office and gave all of us a G-shock watch randomly, and I got this blue one. Then, in 2015 wie danu gave me this blue nail color as birthday gift. At the beginning, I didn’t realize if it all really match. I think… this is lovely… thank you 😊


Dream dream and dream

These past view days I got several vivid dreams and it all unique and make me keep questioning till now “what it all means”. In my dream, there was so many themes but there is one connected dot, it is link to my “keeper”.

Till one day, yesterday, I found: there is a “dot” which becomes my target and destination, and in my dream… the dot is him… my keeper. Sounds complicated, but it feel vividly real.

On the other hand, I continue doing vivassana meditation and I just feel comfortable with this life, till I’m telling myself “there will be so much thing I’ll face; then I’ll face it with my best, passionately, bravely, and gratefully.

Wie, please stay… be my keeper as always, like shawl of yours which always keep me warm. Thank you ♡geg♡

The keeper and me

Today, when I checked my gallery then I found a picture which remind me of my keeper; plus today I use same nail colour in fact. Here is the screen shoot picture from my IG:

And here is my nail colour today:

It was a moment when I was in hospital and the doctor said that I have to remove my nail color. Actually it is gel type, so I need to visit nail sanctuary to remove it; but at the moment I couldn’t go anywhere. So, he put so much effort to remove the color and he succeed… yeayyy!!!

To me, it is a romantic memorial moment. I want to keep it in my mind cause it is part of my life in fact.

Wie, thank you so much…


The good quote

I love to collect the good quotes which fit with my condition. This one perhaps like “common” and “has not big meaning”, but when someone I love said this…. my tears rolled by, but I have to say “no” because I don’t wanna be a burden for him, so he could fullfilled his duty

Here is the quote:

Inner happiness :)

Today is a “day-for-my-soul” peacefullness cause I do really wanna be alone. Then the holy silence place, such as temple, is my most favorite. 

When I need a time for my soul and innerself, I just wanna stay quiet and listening the nature – bird singing, wind blows, sun shining – then I will fly to the other dimension of my life where so much peacefullness and shines. 

Being alone and mingle with my own self is a beautiful  moment and so calming. Understanding my own self is a great achievement for me. 

Conversation with my innerself is a most important thing, esp when finally I found what I need to find. Then, share all those thing with someone is another most important part… and the one is my mother, cause she really knows me. 

After all those journeys, I feel light and all those burdens are released. At that moment I found my innerself happiness.

From my today’s experiences, I am really grateful for all these chances and having her as my mother… I can be honest about myself, my feeling, my thoughts; and she didn’t judge me, besides she really understand about my life.

Thank you meme… I love u 🤗🤗